ext_31797 ([identity profile] shutterbug-12.livejournal.com) wrote in [personal profile] abvj 2010-05-13 04:59 pm (UTC)

I liked the emotion and mood of this; it was conveyed and maintained well throughout. My only concrit doesn't even have to do with the character (just technicalities). Some of the sentences were a little long and awkward--the second and third paragraphs, mostly--and I think you could have captured the same mood if the sentences there were broken up and polished a little bit. But besides, that, I liked the image of Donna packing up her desk and the touches of bittersweetness. I think it captured her frame of mind at the time really well. =)

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