Fic - So Far From Where We Started (Donna, Josh/Donna) pg, 1/1

[abvj]

Title: So Far From Where We Started
Summary: Who knew new beginnings could taste so bitter?
Rating: pg

Author's Notes: Drabble. 205 words. Post Impact Winter. Written a while ago for a  random drabble-a-thon. Edited and re-posted here on a whim because I'm obsessed with organization apparently. Writing for these characters still scares the crap out of me therefore, con-crit is both appreciated and welcome.

Pencils, pens, her chipped coffee mug with a fading cartoon on it.

Donna is packing, amazed that she can fit the past six years of her life into a small copier paper box. A stapler, an old picture from the campaign that was buried in the back of her drawer and it’s disheartening really, looking at Josh and Sam’s grins bursting with idealism and her own, bright and hopeful and she wishes she knew then what she knows now.

Years spent tiptoeing that invisible line – Josh, always needing and she, ready and willing to please him at any cost, giving so much of herself without even realizing – and Donna feels too tired to be still be so young, too far from the person she once was to recognize the face staring back at her in the mirror most mornings.

Later, a glass of scotch with the TV on mute and she traces her fingers over the edge of The Art and Artistry of Alpine Skiing, and wants for things so impossible.

It lands in the box, in-between the mug and pictures, a fruitless attempt at forgetting.

A sigh passes her lips, bittersweet with wistfulness and longing.

Donna never knew new beginnings could taste so bitter.

Comments

[shutterbug-12.livejournal.com]

I liked the emotion and mood of this; it was conveyed and maintained well throughout. My only concrit doesn't even have to do with the character (just technicalities). Some of the sentences were a little long and awkward--the second and third paragraphs, mostly--and I think you could have captured the same mood if the sentences there were broken up and polished a little bit. But besides, that, I liked the image of Donna packing up her desk and the touches of bittersweetness. I think it captured her frame of mind at the time really well. =)

[slybrunette.livejournal.com]

Yeah, so I've come across one person who can write Josh/Donna correctly without putting me in a diabetic coma because, you know, saccharine. Add you to the list now.

I've always sort of thought these two were best done angsty and wow did you nail that on the head. Seriously, the campaign picture (idealism -- boy did that go away) and the book and the entire idea of fitting her life into a box is just...so beautifully done and put together.

I love the last line. I love the whole thing. Great fic sweetie!

[dwhitford.livejournal.com]

VERY NICE!

[justforyoudear.livejournal.com]

I really liked this. Very bittersweet -- both for Donna and for me, because I think that's how I felt around this time, too.

[lexiesloan.livejournal.com]

I read this even though I have no idea what's going on and I cannot wait to start watching this show! :)

[ww-freak.livejournal.com]

i agree i think the last line is perfect for the tone of this piece and the situation donna was in at the time, i haven't read new josh/donna fic in a while - they were my first true love, so this really made my day, thanks